We live in a world that often misinterprets words, twisting them to fit narratives that breed division rather than understanding. One of the most misunderstood phrases in relationships is: “my woman.” Some hear it and immediately think of ownership, of control, of outdated patriarchal structures. But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong?

A couple is not just two separate individuals coexisting under the same roof. A couple is an entity, a unit—just like a body is an entity composed of organs and limbs. When a man says, “my woman,” it isn’t about possession, but about participation. It’s about being part of something bigger than oneself. Just as your heart is “my heart” because it belongs to the unit of your body, your partner is “my woman” or “my man” because they are part of the unit that is your relationship.

The Beauty of Unity

Think about it: your heart doesn’t belong to your stomach, your lungs don’t belong to your liver, but together they form a perfect ecosystem—a body that functions in harmony. If the heart stops working, the whole body suffers. The same goes for relationships. When one person starts seeing themselves as separate rather than part of the whole, cracks begin to form.

Modern love is often about me, me, me—what I get, what I want, what I deserve. But the most profound love isn’t about keeping score; it’s about integration. When two people truly commit, they don’t lose themselves; they merge into something greater.

Does this mean you stop being an individual? Of course not. A liver is still a liver, a heart is still a heart, but they work together, complementing each other. In a strong relationship, two people maintain their uniqueness while actively contributing to their shared unity.

The Power of Belonging

Feeling a deep sense of belonging in a relationship brings profound emotional and psychological benefits. When we know we are truly part of something, we feel secure, valued, and supported. This sense of connection reduces stress, increases overall happiness, and even improves physical health. Studies show that individuals in strong, committed relationships tend to have lower levels of anxiety and depression. The knowledge that someone is by your side, sharing in both triumphs and struggles, creates a foundation of trust and stability that allows people to thrive in all areas of life.

The Exercise: The Unity Mirror

If you want to deepen your understanding of this concept and truly embody it in your relationship (or prepare yourself for one), try this exercise:

1. Stand in front of a mirror with your partner (or if you’re single, visualize your future partner).
2. Look at yourself and say out loud: “I am me, and I am part of something greater.”
3. Look at your partner and say: “You are you, and you are part of something greater.”
4. Together, say: “We are us, and we are one.”
5. Take a moment to reflect—what does this unity mean to you? Where have you resisted it? Where have you embraced it?
6. Write down your thoughts and discuss them with your partner if possible.

Relationships thrive not on possession but on participation. Love isn’t about control; it’s about contribution. Just as your heart beats for your body, let your love beat for the unit you and your partner create together.

And if someone still doesn’t get it?

Well, just ask them—if their heart is truly theirs, why does it ache when someone they love is hurting?